Hi, E. Jean: Tonight I was defeated in a game of chess. I'm a talented player, and my only excuse is this: My opponent was a very attractive woman, and I couldn't concentrate. It got so bad that as she was closing in on my queen, I started to feel turned on. We've scheduled a rematch. But if I get aroused every time she makes a challenging move, she'll beat me again, and this time when we meet, I want to ask her to dinner. I know women don't like losers. Will she accept my invitation? —Knight of the Woeful Countenance
Sir Knight: It is always proper for a gentleman to become excited when being defeated by a lady—a natural and wholesome occurrence that I hope to see repeated in the 2016 presidential race. But don't take chances with the rematch. Invite your beautiful opponent to dinner before the game. And good luck!
This letter is from the E. Jean archive.
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